My sister got me a book for Christmas called 'Atomic Habits'. When I unwrapped it I thought "Oh nice, I've heard about this book and I've been meaning to read it." But then I thought "Wait a minute, is she trying to tell me something?". It felt a bit like getting the literary equivalent of an electric toothbrush.

Anyway, I've stopped drinking this month.

I went out sober on Saturday night. That was no easy task. My girlfriend and I were waiting around before a gig and I was feeling really tired and stressed. Normally at that point I would automatically take the shortest path to the nearest pub, but something told me that the sounds, smells and clientele of a busy pub on a Saturday night wouldn't do me much good without a pint.

Instead, we found refuge in a cafe that stays open late. It felt great to hide away in a back room with a coffee. That's a new technique I've learned.

Going to a gig sober was weird too. Naturally the bands were late to start, so we had to just sit and wait. I had to actually feel the tension building. Now I know why some people get so pissed off when a show starts late. I felt like a teenager again. So nervous in the crowd, and so affected by the music. Not to mention one of the bands was some people I knew from college so it was a real throwback.

Not this, not that, not travelling all the time. Not an authority on anything much. I'll just leave it there.

Must be 7 or 8 years at least, since that New Year's Eve party in that basement flat. Sat in the cafe opposite, looking out the window on a cold January night I feel like it's Christmas again. Lotta trouble back then. So much uncertainty. Lot better these days.

I'm smiling to myself because I've just been sent a video of my brother's newborn baby. Maybe that's why I feel so Christmassy. Then again, it could be the fairy lights in here, or because they're playing Abba on the radio.